I’ve reconsidered my position on Hashkafa vs. Halacha.
While I still think that a lot of Hashkafic debates are really Halachic issues, I no longer think it’s as simple as saying a husband and wife can respectfully disagree and move on.
The fact that there can be an argument whether TV EVEN IS a Halachic OR Hashkafic issue already signifies how deeply the two platforms are intertwined. Depending on where one falls on the Orthodoxy spectrum, a lot of “non-major” Jewish issues can be categorized as either Halachic or Hashkafic in nature. For some, every decision made in life is an issue of Daas Torah, for others, everyday matters are “lifestyle choices” and only major decisions are consulted on with a Rav. So, if you have a guy who considers TV as a lifestyle choice and a girl who considers it Assur L’Halacha, obviously there’s going to be a divide there, which is not easily overcome. I still think that mutual respect can overcome a significant number of issues, but I think the couple must at least be on the same wavelength. Maybe if a couple can get to the point of agreeing WHICH issues are Halachic and WHICH are Hashkafic, then they have something to work with.
Somewhat tangentially, I think this is probably the biggest defining factor between Yeshivish and MO. Yeshivish people (generally) think that almost all decisions in life are Halachic ones that would require consultation with a Rav (even whom to vote for in an election for some). MO, on the other hand, think that as long as one is going through life with the proper outlook, a Rav is not need for all decisions, just major ones where an answer is not readily found.
I think the “Daas Torah” conundrum is a separate issue from the above; one on which I’m not yet ready to theorize on.
Incidentally, I’m starting to think that before I go on a first date with a girl, I should just tell her to read my blog to know beforehand if she can put up with me or not ;-)