Buzzwords Galore
I’m getting to the definition of MO Machmir soon. But first another great buzzword that’s on my mind.
Hashkafa.
Quite the buzz word, eh?
Why does everyone concern themselves with a person’s Hashkafa as opposed to his middos? Or personality? Or height for goodness sakes? You know, height is important too (a little at least).
I think it’s the same reason my sister and I get into hashkafic debates all the time (she’s Yeshivish [another buzzword, great] and I’m MO [see the title of this blog]). I think we both want to get to the “truth.” In the end of the day we respect each other, though, and know that each other is a good person. That’s the whole point of Eilu V’ Eilu. So why is that enough for a brother/sister relationship and not a husband/wife?
Is it because you have to live together forever (hopefully)?
Is it because you want to raise children together with your set of values?
So why isn’t being a good person and having mutual respect for each other’s Hashkafa’s enough? As long as the husband and wife see eye to eye on a certain set of halachic parameters, I would argue that it could be just as beneficial to raising children that they see that their father and mother can get along and respect each other even if they don’t agree on all hashkafic (and political, sociological, etc.) issues. I think that could be a much healthier way to raise kids as opposed to having two parents agreeing on everything. That would just be too boring.
To me, agreeing on Hashkafa is just the cream on top. What should be most important is whether the dating (and eventual marriage) partner is a good person and will take care of you and have respect for you. That includes your opinions on anything and everything (as long as they are well thought out and don’t go against the aforementioned Halachic parameters that the two of you agree on).
Does that seem so crazy?
Didn’t think so.
Comments?
Hashkafa.
Quite the buzz word, eh?
Why does everyone concern themselves with a person’s Hashkafa as opposed to his middos? Or personality? Or height for goodness sakes? You know, height is important too (a little at least).
I think it’s the same reason my sister and I get into hashkafic debates all the time (she’s Yeshivish [another buzzword, great] and I’m MO [see the title of this blog]). I think we both want to get to the “truth.” In the end of the day we respect each other, though, and know that each other is a good person. That’s the whole point of Eilu V’ Eilu. So why is that enough for a brother/sister relationship and not a husband/wife?
Is it because you have to live together forever (hopefully)?
Is it because you want to raise children together with your set of values?
So why isn’t being a good person and having mutual respect for each other’s Hashkafa’s enough? As long as the husband and wife see eye to eye on a certain set of halachic parameters, I would argue that it could be just as beneficial to raising children that they see that their father and mother can get along and respect each other even if they don’t agree on all hashkafic (and political, sociological, etc.) issues. I think that could be a much healthier way to raise kids as opposed to having two parents agreeing on everything. That would just be too boring.
To me, agreeing on Hashkafa is just the cream on top. What should be most important is whether the dating (and eventual marriage) partner is a good person and will take care of you and have respect for you. That includes your opinions on anything and everything (as long as they are well thought out and don’t go against the aforementioned Halachic parameters that the two of you agree on).
Does that seem so crazy?
Didn’t think so.
Comments?
posted by MoDox Machmir Man at 9:42 PM
5 Comments:
u are right in one sense about the fact that hashkafa shouldnt be the be all and end all- but it is very important and i dont think that someone who thinks of themsleves as MO and someone who thinks of self as yeshivish would be able to get along... they could most probably disagree on a lot of things (like whether or not to have a tv, which camps to send kids to, which schools, what shul to go to, which community to live in (mo or yeshivish??)....) and the list goes on. i think you are right about that it shouldnt be the most important thing.. personality is def more important.. but hashkafa is still very much up there.
fair enough.
i think the difference here is the line of hashkafa/halacha.
if TV, internet, etc. are halachic issues and not hashkafic, then most of the differences between MO/yeshivish will fall by the wayside once a certain level of halacha is agreed upon for the marriage home.
school, camps, etc. - I think that if each child is considered on an individual basis, then having a respectful difference of opinion between the parents could be a good thing.
the key here is respect.
modox, i agree with your point- it does come down to the fact of what is halacha and what is hashkafa... but i think that sometimes your hashkafa determines how you pasken the halacha. for example= most people who consider themselves with MO hashkafa will thnk there is no halachic problem with TV... while i personally consider myself more of a yeshivish hashkafa and i feel that tv's are assur. (but that is a different topic, not for right now).
the poiint is, i reall ythink that your hashkafa colors the way you will pasken halacha...
modox, i agree with your point- it does come down to the fact of what is halacha and what is hashkafa... but i think that sometimes your hashkafa determines how you pasken the halacha. for example= most people who consider themselves with MO hashkafa will thnk there is no halachic problem with TV... while i personally consider myself more of a yeshivish hashkafa and i feel that tv's are assur. (but that is a different topic, not for right now).
the poiint is, i reall ythink that your hashkafa colors the way you will pasken halacha...
modox, i agree with your point- it does come down to the fact of what is halacha and what is hashkafa... but i think that sometimes your hashkafa determines how you pasken the halacha. for example= most people who consider themselves with MO hashkafa will thnk there is no halachic problem with TV... while i personally consider myself more of a yeshivish hashkafa and i feel that tv's are assur. (but that is a different topic, not for right now).
the poiint is, i reall ythink that your hashkafa colors the way you will pasken halacha...
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