On compensation II
It’s been a while.
Already at my age (early 20’s) the New Year’s ball drop is so passé that I didn’t even watch it. Also, this holiday is pretty religious in nature. If Christmas is Jesus’ B-day, count to eight and New Year’s is his Bris. That’s why I felt I should shy away from this holiday. I still enjoyed my day off from work, though! Conversely, that’s also why I have no problem celebrating a secular holiday like Thanksgiving the only way I know how (by eating a lot).
Anyway, I want to thank Ariella of the great Kallah Magazine blog for linking to my post on Shidduch compensation. Because of her, my readership went up nearly ten-fold in one day! I guess that kind of shows that I didn’t have much readership to begin with. Ahh well. This just means that I have to think for 30 seconds now before I publish something as opposed to my original 10 ;-)
Hopefully, I can continue to write semi – intelligent stuff around here and keep some of my new readers. I didn’t start this blog to commiserate with other young 20’s single guys. I can do that very well offline, thank you. I started this blog to get my thoughts out on the current Shidduch situation and hopefully start some dialogue here in the comments.
With regards to the compensation issue, while I do agree that the shadchanim should be compensated adequately for all their work, this situation is different than real estate or head hunting because of the emotions involved. I was just saying before that the emotions must be taken into consideration. This also applies to the future machatanim engaging in heated financial discussions before the engagement/wedding. Obviously these things have to be taken care of, but having a couple start their new life together with a bitter taste in their mouths because of financial “discussions” is just not the way to go. One way to help solve this issue is to have things hammered out early on (i.e., before the engagement). Maybe (some of the – I don’t want to be accused of stereotyping) Yeshivish world is right when they discuss specific finances before even agreeing to a first date. Somehow, though, that just makes things seem too businesslike.
As with everything else in life, some sort of balance must be struck between too early and too late.
Be darned if I know that balance.
If I did, don’t you think I’d be writing a book about it ;-)
Next up, the definition of MoDox Machmir. Yay!
Already at my age (early 20’s) the New Year’s ball drop is so passé that I didn’t even watch it. Also, this holiday is pretty religious in nature. If Christmas is Jesus’ B-day, count to eight and New Year’s is his Bris. That’s why I felt I should shy away from this holiday. I still enjoyed my day off from work, though! Conversely, that’s also why I have no problem celebrating a secular holiday like Thanksgiving the only way I know how (by eating a lot).
Anyway, I want to thank Ariella of the great Kallah Magazine blog for linking to my post on Shidduch compensation. Because of her, my readership went up nearly ten-fold in one day! I guess that kind of shows that I didn’t have much readership to begin with. Ahh well. This just means that I have to think for 30 seconds now before I publish something as opposed to my original 10 ;-)
Hopefully, I can continue to write semi – intelligent stuff around here and keep some of my new readers. I didn’t start this blog to commiserate with other young 20’s single guys. I can do that very well offline, thank you. I started this blog to get my thoughts out on the current Shidduch situation and hopefully start some dialogue here in the comments.
With regards to the compensation issue, while I do agree that the shadchanim should be compensated adequately for all their work, this situation is different than real estate or head hunting because of the emotions involved. I was just saying before that the emotions must be taken into consideration. This also applies to the future machatanim engaging in heated financial discussions before the engagement/wedding. Obviously these things have to be taken care of, but having a couple start their new life together with a bitter taste in their mouths because of financial “discussions” is just not the way to go. One way to help solve this issue is to have things hammered out early on (i.e., before the engagement). Maybe (some of the – I don’t want to be accused of stereotyping) Yeshivish world is right when they discuss specific finances before even agreeing to a first date. Somehow, though, that just makes things seem too businesslike.
As with everything else in life, some sort of balance must be struck between too early and too late.
Be darned if I know that balance.
If I did, don’t you think I’d be writing a book about it ;-)
Next up, the definition of MoDox Machmir. Yay!
posted by MoDox Machmir Man at 4:53 PM
1 Comments:
i figured out why there is such a shiduch crisis.. i figured out why guys have "shopping lists" of girls while girls sit around and literally wait for the phoen to ring....
it is all the guys faults..
the guy always has to say yes first bc they are notoriously more picky, specifically on looks, than girls. so when people have an idea, they (mostly) ALWAYS go to the guy first... if it were the other way around, there would be girls with lists and guys waiting and waiting for a date
why is this so?
a girl will give a not- so -goodlooking guy a chance if other things seem good, but a guy is much less willing to give a not-so-goodlooking girl a chance, even if shes superwoman.
soooo everyone has tons of good girls AND guys- but they call the guys , creating the lists for the guys and the waiting for the girls.
the guys are the problem here- they do not know how to organize and deal with their lists, and so they take their time since theyre in no rush, heck, they got a whole list of girls! no shortage for them! so they can lazily go through the lists, push some of them off if they dont know the suggester/arent in the mood/doesnt sound so great...
if guys would be a little better with their end of the deal, maybe the shidduch crisis wouldnt be such a crisis after all..
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