The Singles' Weekend - Part 2b, Friday night con'd
First, to respond to my anon commenter- I appreciate the good thoughts. I think that at this time, the best way to start to solve the SC is by people changing their thinking about how shidduch dating has to occur. I think if people would maybe take a little bit of a more relaxed attitude, it would go along way. Obviously the point of going out in the Frum world is to find a suitable marriage partner, but that kind of thinking is just a little too heavy for a first date in my opinion. People should just try to have a good time with their date for the first date or two, and then see where it goes. As shidduch daters’ mindsets change, things just might get a little easier. That and sending all parent off to a remote island for a year or two ;-)
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Where were we?
Oh yeah, the Round Robins!
I personally am a big fan of round robins. The way the Shabbaton folks executed these were to have all participants go to their original tables after dinner. They then had all the guys from a table move to the next one while the girls and their designated couple stayed put. Each table was given 3-4 min to introduce themselves, and then a question was posed to the room for discussion. Each table had about 6-7 min total, then the guys rotated throughout the dining room. The whole process took two seperate hour and a half sessions.
I think this is a very good way for everyone to meet everyone. The seven minutes gives everyone enough time to articulate their opinions and create a little interaction between the groups. The only problem is that the interaction is very dependant on the specific groups of guys that are formed. I was lucky to be with a fun group, so we just went around table-to-table having a good time. The problem is if you have one or two dominant players and one or two quiet ones, sometimes the quiet guys / girls can get shut out. That’s why the success of a round robin is also very dependant on the married couples manning the tables. When a question posed to the room is uninteresting, it’s their job to come up with a different topic of discussion. When a quiet guy / girl is not getting involved, it’s their job to involve him / her.
I think overall the couples did a pretty good job of accomplishing those two goals; some were obviously better than the others.
Ok then, so the round robins were a success. We then moved on to informal “mingling.”
In my opinion, the most important factor for a successful “mingling session” is the layout of the room. And this particular lay out worked very well. There was a big area for guys and girls just milling about, but it was right next to the dining room itself. This created a natural flow to things. If a guy and girl wanted to couple off, they could just walk over a few feet and sit at a table without feeling they had left everyone else. This helped to alleviate the pressure of talking to someone “right away” on Friday night.
Mingling wrapped up at around 2 AM (no, this was not the week to catch up on your sleep!) I personally didn’t hit it off with any girls on Friday night, but I had whom to talk to (guys and girls).
Davening in the morning was pretty uneventful (good breakfast before hand; that’s how you can tell who’s REALLY religious or not – by the tally at breakfast). We then moved on to Kiddush and finished off the round robins from the night before.
After lunch came…The Shabbos Walks
Stay tuned.
Good Shabbos to all.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Where were we?
Oh yeah, the Round Robins!
I personally am a big fan of round robins. The way the Shabbaton folks executed these were to have all participants go to their original tables after dinner. They then had all the guys from a table move to the next one while the girls and their designated couple stayed put. Each table was given 3-4 min to introduce themselves, and then a question was posed to the room for discussion. Each table had about 6-7 min total, then the guys rotated throughout the dining room. The whole process took two seperate hour and a half sessions.
I think this is a very good way for everyone to meet everyone. The seven minutes gives everyone enough time to articulate their opinions and create a little interaction between the groups. The only problem is that the interaction is very dependant on the specific groups of guys that are formed. I was lucky to be with a fun group, so we just went around table-to-table having a good time. The problem is if you have one or two dominant players and one or two quiet ones, sometimes the quiet guys / girls can get shut out. That’s why the success of a round robin is also very dependant on the married couples manning the tables. When a question posed to the room is uninteresting, it’s their job to come up with a different topic of discussion. When a quiet guy / girl is not getting involved, it’s their job to involve him / her.
I think overall the couples did a pretty good job of accomplishing those two goals; some were obviously better than the others.
Ok then, so the round robins were a success. We then moved on to informal “mingling.”
In my opinion, the most important factor for a successful “mingling session” is the layout of the room. And this particular lay out worked very well. There was a big area for guys and girls just milling about, but it was right next to the dining room itself. This created a natural flow to things. If a guy and girl wanted to couple off, they could just walk over a few feet and sit at a table without feeling they had left everyone else. This helped to alleviate the pressure of talking to someone “right away” on Friday night.
Mingling wrapped up at around 2 AM (no, this was not the week to catch up on your sleep!) I personally didn’t hit it off with any girls on Friday night, but I had whom to talk to (guys and girls).
Davening in the morning was pretty uneventful (good breakfast before hand; that’s how you can tell who’s REALLY religious or not – by the tally at breakfast). We then moved on to Kiddush and finished off the round robins from the night before.
After lunch came…The Shabbos Walks
Stay tuned.
Good Shabbos to all.
posted by MoDox Machmir Man at 12:46 PM
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